"I do not hand out certificates and diplomas to the ones walking with me. I gift each and every mentor – yes, mentor, for that is who we are to each other – walking with me drawings. There are five different kinds of them. I do not hand out certificates, because becoming a healer is not done over a weekend or in a three month course. Learning never ends, getting accustomed to walking your own shadows is a practice, skills are there to be honed and honoured.
Up to now, there is only one who has received all five of the drawings. She is one heck of a healer, an incredible mentor and she knows how to say no and set boundaries. Not once did she just take one of the gifts and open them, no, she took her time in feeling, sensing and getting to know them. Being a shaman has nothing to do with putting on a show, flashing around traditional clothing and beating a drum for the sake of it. It comes with responsibility.
It does not matter where you were born. We are all native to Mother Earth. I was born with two colors of skin, light and dark. Those walking with me can attest do it. I was told once, that I am not allowed to say that and that I was white, because my face is. No. I am allowed to tell people that I am neither light skinned nor dark skinned, but the in-between. In the end it does not matter, you could be green skinned with pink polka dots all over your body: It is your heart that counts. Your energy never lies. It is not a me me me me and then some more of me either, it is about telling the stories of the hearts opening up to us as they are in truth and not as they benefit others or enrich a third party profiting from secrets not kept and revealed. So do not expect me to give you a diploma. Do not expect me to call and name you shaman for that is between you and the ones who have walked the realms before us. You tell them who you are. Do not go and flash around my drawings telling people 'She told me that is who I am!' No. The drawings depict a gift within you, a potential, a seed within your heart. It is your responsibility to develop that gift. It is the gift you can bring into this world and with it heal and help mend the hearts of all beings of creation and be a steward in this realm. |
I was given a gift by a shaman I hold dear in my heart once years ago. He did not explain anything to me. To this day I wonder why and what he had seen within me. Will I ever know or get an explanation? In the end it is about being who I am and not wearing a mask, doing the best I can, honouring the hearts of others and never playing with a soul. I love that shaman more than I can say. And no, he was not the only mentor and teacher that left me standing where I was without any further explanation. To each and every single one of them: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And as for the holier than thou attitude, leave it at the gate. Nobody is perfect, we all have a past, we all have vices like coffee, liquorice or dark chocolate and there are as many traditions and world views as there are beings in creation. In other words, nobody is perfect and none of us is meant to be. This is a learning ground where sacred children are learning the basics. And never take a mentor or teacher in your life for granted. I protect the ones I am walking with and I will ask you to leave the circle without hesitation, if you play with one of the souls in the circle. The hardest one was someone who had told me her story right in the beginning. I took her under my wing and gave her more leeway than others. Without asking me she posted on her Facebook profile that she was working for me. She started handing out my business cards, but wrote her number on them. She told people that she was the one to be contacted for all business in Austria without asking me about that. Then she started lying to me and about me, trying to gain control and make my teachings her own. It was hard to let her go, since I knew her story, but I told her to leave. She did not respect my decision, but kept writing and calling, despite me having told her in no uncertain terms, that our ways had parted and explaining in detail as to why. The last time she tried was a few hours before an official Animal Wisdom Speaks event, using my nick name when greeting me after I had answered the phone as if nothing had ever happened. I told her one last time that our ways had parted for good. As the founder of a circle you bear responsibility. As a mentor walking with others you bear responsibility. As a leader you bear responsibility. And with power comes responsibility. A leader is not the one getting everything served on a silver platter eating first, a leader is the first servant of the people and the circle he or she has been entrusted with." Kristin Raphaela Otti |