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The Hunt for the White Deer

8/25/2024

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A few years ago, when I was still teaching and living in Vienna, I was in the midst of a journey beyond the veils, when the energies around me completely changed. 
 
I had shapeshifted into my white deer aspect and was exploring a forest, conversing with the beings around me and enjoying the peace and quiet. All of a sudden, the shadows grew larger and the scents and smells of the forest changed. What had smelled of peace and healing before, suddenly reeked of danger and demise. I knew that a hunter was on the prowl and he had chosen me as his prey. 
 
Everything grew dark. I started to run. The chase led through the forest, up into one of the mountain regions. I knew where I was headed and I had chosen the path on purpose. I heard the impatient growling of my pursuer behind me and where I was taking a path that would not hurt any tree or bush, he was running right through them, breaking and splintering wood. I reached a cliff, that I knew well, as did I know the abyss it led to. I had been down there on a journey before. 
 
I ran towards the edge of the cliff and at the last moment I made a sharp turn to the left. Since the one chasing me had been blinded by bloodthirst and chosen a form, that would allow him to simply demolish every obstacle, he was not as agile as I was and he went over the cliff. 
I went to the edge of the cliff and looked down.

There he was. A giant red lion made of fire. He was holding on to the edge of the cliff with one paw, his claws dug deeply into the stone. His glowing eyes were filled with pure hatred. I shapeshifted back into my human form, knelt down, grabbed his foot a bit under the paw and pulled him up onto the cliff and into safety. 
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"White Deer", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Gentleness is not weakness, but strength. Facing your fears and looking them straight in the eye takes more courage, than burying them deeply in the abyss, where you can hear their growling and their cries, for they want to be seen and acknowledged. Look at them and see them for what they are and for what they are not. Love them and you love yourself. Embrace them and they are darkness no more. 

​He lay there, breathing heavily, staring at me in complete and utter disbelief. He growled, “Why?” I replied, “I love you.” Then I shapeshifted back into my white deer aspect, looked him in the eye once more, turned around and walked slowly back into the forest. 
 
Gentleness is not weakness, but strength. Facing your fears and looking them straight in the eye takes more courage, than burying them deeply in the abyss, where you can hear their growling and their cries, for they want to be seen and acknowledged. Look at them and see them for what they are and for what they are not. Love them and you love yourself. Embrace them and they are darkness no more. 
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Fox Wisdom

6/19/2024

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Fox is a great companion and teacher. It never gives up or complains, but adapts to its surroundings and circumstances and turns them into an advantage by using its creative and resourceful way of thinking. Fox is a playful trickster, cunning and able to react immediately in tricky situations thus escaping even the direst circumstances with ease.
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Fox is not attached to its identity or any label put on it, for it knows, that once you let go of who you thought you were, you are free to become whoever you want to be and leave all limitations behind. 

​It is able to see through any illusion or deception, even the ones, it created itself. After becoming aware of them, fox quickly changes its point of view and is able to do things in a completely different – and sometimes - unexpected way and uses its quick wit and energy to get out of any unfavorable situation. 
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"White Fox", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
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"White Reynard", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Fox is a shapeshifter, a jack-of-all-trades, but a master-of-none. It is able to become whoever it wants to be or needs to be to blend right into its surroundings and camouflage itself perfectly. It is not attached to its identity or any label put on it, for it knows, that once you let go of who you thought you were, you are free to become whoever you want to be and leave all limitations behind. 

It is able to see through any illusion or deception, even the ones, it created itself. 

​Fox is a walker of the in-between, a being of dusk and dawn. It understands the unspoken and is able to view any situation with complete detachment. It teaches you to see a situation for what it is and not as you wish to see it and to take a step back and become still, until you are able to see a way out. 
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Butterfly Wisdom

6/12/2024

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The butterfly is an incredible teacher and companion. It flies on silent wings, never disturbing the peace, always being in the moment, for the butterfly has shed its past and left it behind. 
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The butterfly will never betray a secret, but keep it, for it sings with its heart and not its tongue.

It does not speak with its mouth, for it its one with all of creation and sees no need in manifesting any riches for itself. Instead, it sings its beautiful song from the heart, greeting all of creation with unconditional love, sharing its wealth.
 
The butterfly has known hardship and learned to survive on sheer will. As a caterpillar the butterfly has its skeleton on the outside, using it as protection, shielding itself.

​While growing it rapidly sheds the old skeleton time after time, expanding until all its learning is done and its heart tells it to let go of the past completely. 
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"Shadow Butterfly", black pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2024)
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"White Peacock Butterfly", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
The caterpillar changes into something entirely new, a chrysalis, and the fire within, kindled by trust in its path, melts the ice away that had covered its heart. It is reborn as a butterfly, transformed completely. 
 
It carries its healing wisdom to all the flowers and herbs, even the ones, that are hardest to reach, the ones not visited by bees, now showing its true colors and healing wisdom openly.
 
The butterfly is the faithful companion of the raven, the secret keeper. It will never betray a secret, but keep it, for it sings with its heart and not its tongue. Whenever the raven needs nourishment and a trusted friend, the butterfly will guide it to safety and shelter. 
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"White Butterfly", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
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Seahorse Wisdom

6/5/2024

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Seahorse medicine is incredibly strong. Seahorses have three hearts beating simultaneously, so if one heart gets tired, the others keep the seahorse strong until it is fully recovered. They show us, that we have many resources within us and that when the heart that has been wounded in the past, is tired, the one being in the here and now and the one dreaming our highest good into being, our future, will be able to keep us whole until the wounded one is mended.  

Seahorse knows that it is vulnerable, but it knows its vulnerabilities are not weaknesses. It acknowledges them and teaches us that recognizing our vulnerabilities is a way to empower and protect us and others.

​Seahorses are poor swimmers, yet they are able to rest even in the roughest of seas with their tails wound around a stationary object. They swim along their path, one stroke after the other, resting and securing themselves when needed and continue on their path, when they have regained their balance, showing us how to navigate the stormiest of emotions and situations.
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"White Seahorse", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Their eyes move independently, they can see what lies behind them in the past, their present state and even glimpse into the future and see what lies in front of them at the same time. All while being able to anchor themselves to any object, while being completely at peace within themselves, finding their balance again if needed. 
 
Seahorse knows that it is vulnerable, but it knows its vulnerabilities are not weaknesses. It acknowledges them and teaches us that recognizing our vulnerabilities is a way to empower and protect us and others. Instead of lamenting over the fact, that it is a poor swimmer and thus not able to speed along its path, it uses the time needed to anchor itself to reflect and rebalance, thus gaining insights and wisdom, learning. 
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Squirrel Wisdom

5/29/2024

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Squirrel is a quick-witted and resourceful mento, taking you by the hand showing you, that every challenge comes with a solution deep within and that there is no nut, that cannot be cracked. Impossible? Well, think again! 

Hustling and bustling, squirrel reminds you playfully, that there are – indeed – only two days over the course of a year, where you can truly do nothing: yesterday and tomorrow.

Sometimes squirrel collects a nut, a well-earned treat, to be eaten later, and forgets, where she has stowed it away, but she does not feel regret about it, for any seed you plant with good intention, will grow into a gift for everyone and may very well become the tree, that will shelter you down the road, when you need it the most.
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"White Squirrel", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Hustling and bustling, squirrel reminds you playfully, that there are – indeed – only two days over the course of a year, where you can truly do nothing: yesterday and tomorrow. Instead of living in yesterday’s regrets and tomorrow’s fear, she embraces today, experiencing the world around her with an open heart. 
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Bellbird Wisdom

5/22/2024

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The bellbird is mentor and companion, whose heart is singing the song of eternal hope, bearing the message that harmony and balance will come to those that do not give up and persevere through adversity. It has been chosen as a messenger, a bearer of prophecies and tidings of the Great One, travelling freely through the veils.
The bellbird knows how to unite even the most diverse group of beings, for its presence is soothing, calming and brings harmony. It uses its unique call to call to prayer and to stand united as one.

​It is shy and secretive, but it will speak, whenever it is called to. It has one of the most unusual and distinct voices among the flying ones. The call of the bellbird is the loudest call on Earth. It sounds like a bell and it wards of evil spirits and offers protection. It carries tones of healing and love, soothing the hearts of the beings it is protecting and bringing peace to their minds. Young bellbird chicks do not sing instinctively, but learn their songs from their elders and practice them until they can bring together all the different tones in harmony. 

​The bellbird knows how to unite even the most diverse group of beings, for its presence is soothing, calming and brings harmony.
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"White Bellbird", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
It uses its unique call to call to prayer and to stand united as one. Its heart knows about the connection between the hearts of all beings of creation. Since the male and the female bellbirds differ greatly in color and looks, it knows that the color of your feathers or skin is not important. It is your heart, that shows your true colors. 
 
It loves fruit and plays an important role in seed dispersal in its habitat. It knows exactly where the seeds will be of the greatest use and rather than letting digestion take its natural course, it regurgitates the seeds exactly where they will find the best soil to blossom, bloom and thrive. It teaches us to spread our seeds of wisdom wisely and to ponder where they will fall on fertile ground.
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Eagle Wisdom

5/15/2024

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Eagle is a mentor and companion who dares you to fly high up into the skies and see the bigger picture. The keen eyes of the Eagle look deep into the past, focusing on the seed of light and healing planted during a night long gone. 

Let the fiery touch of the sun caress you and burn away your old and worn feathers, so you can rise again, reborn from the ashes of your past, filled with the fires of a new day dawning.

​He says, “Everything you have experienced on your path has brought you here, to this very moment. The pain you caused, the pain you suffered. The joy you brought, the gifts of joy you received. Let go of the old that is weighing you down, the regrets and the paths not travelled. Spread your wings and let the healing wisdom of the past carry you to new heights today.”
 
The call of the Eagle challenges you to look deeper into yourself, be courageous and walk your path without fear. Living fearless means living in truth. Eagle says, “Look deep into your sun, the light within your heart, and dare to look beyond the dark mist clouding your eyes. Let the fiery touch of the sun caress you and burn away your old and worn feathers, so you can rise again, reborn from the ashes of your past, filled with the fires of a new day dawning.”
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Eagle was named the messenger and bearer of prayers to the spirit realms and messenger and bearer of visions to Mother Earth and all of creation by the Great One. Eagle accepted the sacred duty to speak from the heart with love and to relay the messages and visions without ill-will and without deceit. 
 
He says, “Stay true to yourself and choose to fly near the sun. Take the high road and let your light shine. Do not react on the spur of the moment, but take a deep breath deep into your heart and respond with a calm mind.”

Let go of the old that is weighing you down, the regrets and the paths not travelled. Spread your wings and let the healing wisdom of the past carry you to new heights today.

​Eagles build their eyries in places that are inaccessible to predators and fiercely protect and defend their sanctuaries.

​Eagle says, “You are the one responsible for what you are bringing into your eyrie, your home. Your home is your sanctuary. Be mindful and aware of who you let into your inner circle, your thoughts, your energies and your beliefs.” 
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Vulnerability

5/9/2024

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When you ask for learning and deeper insights, your wish may be granted in unexpected ways. Last year I began to paint and draw again. Out of the blue. I had loved painting and drawing as a child, I had even specialized in arts for a short while in high school, until I asked for permission to change departments and started studying the jazz guitar. I did not know, why I was called to painting again, but I kept painting nonetheless and whenever I see a spirit animal in front of my mind’s eye now, I paint it. Why I paint a certain guide, is usually answered a short while after I have finished the painting. 
 
When I am working in Vienna, I am being called to draw and paint spirit guides quite often now. During one of my visits to Vienna last year I was called to draw a very specific animal spirit. On the first day, when I was sitting in a café, I felt a seahorse spirit in my energy field. I painted it, but did not think of it again for a while. 

Seahorse knows that it is vulnerable, but it knows its vulnerabilities, acknowledges them and teaches us that recognizing our vulnerabilities is a way to empower and protect us and others.

​A few days later, I got on the subway and there were no empty seats except three around a man whose energy screamed “Go away!” Me being me, I sat down opposite of him. I saw the seahorse again and was faced with a decision. Speak and be myself, risk to be hurt or keep my mouth shut and never open it again. 
 
He was completely startled and surprised by the fact, that someone would talk to him instead of running away. The energy he had been in had felt like anger at first, but in truth it was fear of getting hurt. At first, he did not want to look at the drawing, but then he did and fell in love with it. He told me his story. He was an artist, fighting depression. He was fighting to get back to living his life again. When we were about to say our goodbyes, he told me that he was embarrassed because he had not been able to give me anything in return. But he had. A smile. His whole energy changed after I told him that. He added, that he was not used to having good things happen to him in his life. I simply said that something good had just happened. Just like that, no strings attached. Then we parted ways. 
 
I asked myself, why I had seen a seahorse and why I had been called to give him seahorse medicine in form of a drawing and the answer came a while later. Seahorse medicine is incredibly strong. 
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"White Seahorse" being drawn in a café in Vienna
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"White Seahorse", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Seahorses have three hearts beating simultaneously, so if one heart gets tired, the others keep the seahorse strong until it is fully recovered. They show us, that we have many resources within us and that when the heart that has been wounded in the past, is tired, the one being in the here and now and the one dreaming our highest good into being, our future, will be able to keep us whole until the wounded one is mended.  
​
Seahorses are poor swimmers, yet they are able to rest even in the roughest of seas with their tails wound around a stationary object. They swim along their path, one stroke after the other, resting and securing themselves when needed and continue on their path, when they have regained their balance, showing us how to navigate the stormiest of emotions and situations.
​
Their eyes move independently, they can see what lies behind them in the past, their present state and even glimpse into the future and see what lies in front of them at the same time. All while being able to anchor themselves to any object, while being completely at peace within themselves, finding their balance again if needed. 
​
Smile. In my eyes, a smile from the heart is the most precious gift of them all.  

​Seahorse knows that it is vulnerable, but it knows its vulnerabilities, acknowledges them and teaches us that recognizing our vulnerabilities is a way to empower and protect us and others. Instead of lamenting over the fact, that it is a poor swimmer and thus not able to speed along its path, it uses the time needed to anchor itself to reflect and rebalance, thus gaining insights and wisdom, learning. 
 
Meeting the artist on the subway was a gift in many ways. I was granted the gift of facing my own fears and my own vulnerability again. Life in itself is a teacher and mentor, when you take the time to anchor yourself for a while and try not to rush through.
 
It takes courage to speak to a complete stranger, see him or her for who he or she truly is. We tend to rush through our days, not looking left or right. To be seen and recognized is healing.

​Smile. In my eyes, a smile from the heart is the most precious gift of them all.  
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Koala Wisdom

5/8/2024

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The Koala is a peaceful and patient companion and mentor, who knows about the strengths of the beings around it and helps them to blossom, bloom and thrive. It never puts itself above others, but listens calmly to what each and every one has to say. Though it is quiet, it does not shy away from speaking up, but is always mindful of not putting anyone down. 

Koala is a peacekeeper, whose mere presence soothes the minds and ailing hearts of others. It takes much to upset a koala, because it finds joy in the smallest of things and peace even in the harshest of storms. 

​The koala joeys are very vulnerable and as a result, the koala is very protective around them. It is also able to see deep into the hearts of its young and knows about their inner strength and inner fire. It trusts them fully, showing patience and foresight, and helps them grow into independent and strong adults, who stand tall and proud on their own two feet. 

​The koala is a natural born leader and nurturer, it senses, when someone in its tribe needs help and offers a helping hand without strings attached.
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"White Koala", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
Its wisdom lies therein, that it knows, that help can only be given to those, who are willing to help themselves, and that change cannot be called forth, where there is no open heart to welcome it. Its instincts tell it, when to take someone’s hand and walk with him and when to patiently wait.
 
It is patient and gentle, filled with peace. It is able to calm down even the most restless mind and the greatest of storms with its loving and soothing embrace. It is a peacekeeper, whose mere presence soothes the minds and ailing hearts of others. It takes much to upset a koala, because it finds joy in the smallest of things and peace even in the harshest of storms. 
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How the White Parrot Got His Grey Feathers

5/2/2024

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How the White Parrot Got His Grey Feathers
A Yorùbá myth retold

One morning, when the sun rose and bathed all of creation in its golden light, the Great One called all the birds to him and looked at them with a loving smile. “When Father Sun rises on the morrow and his healing light greets Mother Earth, I will call the bird with the most beautiful feathers to me.” 
 
The birds started chattering excitedly, wondering about who would be chosen by the Great One. They talked about what they could do to make their feathers even more beautiful, even shinier and more colorful and very slowly their energies started to change. At first, they had been talking about each other’s beauty, now they were looking at each other with envy. Their words of encouragement turned into long tirades about the imperfection of others, they spoke behind each other’s backs and starred daggers at one another. 
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“You are indeed the most beautiful of them all, for true beauty is found within the heart and not on the outside. Much harm has been done to you and yet you answered my call unwavering, sharing your heart’s light without hesitation.” 

​All of the birds sought to improve their beauty by bathing in fresh spring waters, diving through rainbows, singing to Father Sun and asking Mother Earth for jewels, they could brighten up their feathers with. All but one. Odide, the white parrot, sat on a tree, his eyes closed, enjoying the sun and the mild breeze. 
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"White Parrot Dreaming", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)
At first, the other birds thought nothing of Odide simply sitting there, then they became uneasy and started wondering, why he was doing nothing, while they were trying with all their might to improve their looks and appearance. Fear began creeping up in their hearts and they decided to play a trick on him. ​
They flew up to a volcano and gathered some of the ashes, that were lying on the ground near the top. Grandfather Magma was watching them with knowing eyes, sighing. 

​Then the birds hid in the trees of the forest, Odide called home, and when he flew by later that day, they dumped the ashes on him, laughing and cackling. Now they had spoilt his beauty for good, or so they thought. Odide, meanwhile, did not seem to care nor did it have any effect on him. He kept flying around, talking to all of creation, a merry song accompanying him. 
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The other birds grew even angrier than they had been before and flew to a sorcerer, who lived in the darkest part of the forest, the one, where the only light, that is ever seen, is the one cast by the fire, the ancient sorcerer uses to brew his concoctions and prepare his charms. They told the sorcerer about Odide and asked him to turn his shiny white feathers blood red. The sorcerer looked upon them with ancient eyes, that did not remember the light of day, and did what they had asked of him.  
 
The birds started singing triumphantly. Now that white parrot would not dare to show himself before the Great One. Feathers heavy and grey with ashes? Blood red tail feathers? He would not be courageous enough to come. He would not show his dirty feathers to the Great One.
 
When Father Sun rose to give Mother Earth a good morning kiss, the birds sat down on the trees around the Great One. One by one they came and when Odide flew in and landed on the Great One’s knee, the other birds gasped. “There you are, Odide!”, said the Great One lovingly. He looked at the parrot. “You are indeed the most beautiful of them all, for true beauty is found within the heart and not on the outside. Much harm has been done to you and yet you answered my call unwavering, sharing your heart’s light without hesitation.”
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    ​I am a shaman and storyteller from Carinthia, Austria, tending the fires of winter in the hearts and walking with those, who wish to embark on a journey deep within. 

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